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[Feb. 19th, 2008|07:07 am] |
i guess many of you have noticed i am very rarely on here.
the pace may pick up considering i have a business finance class and a computer to myself. with barely any supervision, really.
a quick update:
i'm in love. engaged and underage. it more of a promise than anything, but a commitment all the same, his name is joshua, yes, he is a handful but i couldn't have asked more anybody better suited for myself. i dropped out of school, live oaks, all together, i am currently attending anderson. i like it here, many people i haven't spent much time with in the past two years i was at live oaks. i graduate may 25th. excited? hell ya. |
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| love & loss |
[Oct. 29th, 2007|02:02 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
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this is my first post and well, it's a big one. to me.
i have been losing my tightness with a bunch of friends because i feel like i live in a different world. it's almost like i have no control over what is happening and all i can think about can't be expressed through a simple conversation. the worst thing of all is that sometimes, i get in a really selfish mood and just can't help but to not care. i hate that i'm changing but i don't think that it can be avoided. maybe i just need to be srong enough to get out before i lose everyone. i just wish they understood more. if i were surrounded with more people that are in the situation that i am in, that actually tried to understand, all of this.. i think it'd be a lot easier. but as every day goes by, i'm thinking that everyone changes. lately, i feel like i've been snapping back, or maybe i'm just comfortable with who i now am. i think it's ridiculous for someone to say that i have changed and then not explain how so. i think it's silly when you say you can't be my friend anymore. if that's the way you feel, honestly, we were never friends to begin with.i know that when/if i care/d enough to call you a friend i would sit down with you and pour my heart out. tell you everything i was thinking, everything you've done wrong, everything you did right. and i would NEVER ask you to change yourself, you've always been you. i'm not saying you're wrong when you say that i've changed. you're allowed to have your own opinions. it's just i could never be able to tell someone "fix yourself, you've changed" that's the lowest of the low. the worst insult i've ever gotten. it hit me right in my heart and your words will stay with me always. |
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